Arriving in a new city, business, high-school, or college, won’t be easy without making new friends. Friends bring an emotional bond(laughter, support), which we all need.
Having friends you can trust, depend on, and make you discover new things is something valuable. You may be an extrovert who speaks a lot and is interested in others and in what they live or, on the contrary, shy, less talkative, more lonely. Going to others is not always easy, but it can be learned!
But, let it be said, we can make solid friendships at any age — so Here is our advice for meeting new people.
Table of Contents
1-Seize all opportunities
Public transport, queue in the cinema, shops, buildings in celebration, cocktails … friendship flourishes in any place. “Open your eyes, find people who seem nice and who you like nice, advises Odile Lamourère, coach specializing in delicate relationships. Trust your intuition by identifying the “green lights” that signal that the other is accessible, a gesture that invites you to sit, a benevolent look. “
Then, start with a “Hello!” The best is to prepare at home simple boarding phrases, advocates the coach. For example,
“I’m not very comfortable here. I’m coming for the first time”, “My name is Christine, what about you?” The key is staying spontaneous, authentic.
2-Focus on the interests of the other
“You’ll see what movie?”, “How did you come to this job?” “By making others talk about what he likes, his projects, you put him in confidence. It will open, and will tell, “says Olivier de Clermont-Tonnerre, coach and partner of Atomos Conseil.
To achieve this, use open-ended questions that do not require a “yes” or “no” answer. Use how, who, what, what, how much. “Waiting for the answer, listen, in empathy,” advises Latifa Gallo. It is a sign of recognition that nourishes the bond. However, in the beginning, ban rude subjects such as politics and religion.
“After first contact, offer instead to have a drink at the pub or in a public place. Do not invite to your home after three or four meetings, when the affinities are proven, “recommends Odile Lamourère. Even if you are not a blue cordon, the intention is there: you make your guest happy while indulging a little more to him, in your intimacy. If it’s a co-worker, take more time before the invitation, to make sure the links are strong.
4-Being present in important moments
Your potential friend is an artist and performs in public? Does he have an important meeting? Be present that day, physically, or by a strong sign, SMS, call … it will touch him. And then, do yourself a favor, whether it’s a round trip by car, or helping to overcome apprehension. Sharing common values is indeed essential for building links, here cooperation, listening, respect.
5- Go to as many events as you can
. There are great sites like meetup or Couchsurfing to meet people like you. There are tons of small events organized every week, and there’s something for everyone. There are, for example, yoga groups, groups for running, learning photography, language exchanges, etc.
It’s a bit scary to go to strangers for the first time. It’s a great way to meet great people and have a good time. The advantage of the groups is that it leaves more possibilities to allow the affinities to be created. There are people with whom the connection is made very quickly and others not. It is done naturally enough. It’s all about jumping into the water!
6-Develop a real sense of listening
In events, worldly or not, making friends is mostly getting used to banality. Polite phrases are musts in this kind of situation. And you must be sincerely interested in the opinion of your interlocutor. It’s a question of respect, but not only. You develop a relationship of trust more simply. Not to mention that knowing how to listen will allow you to know the real personality of the person who is in front of you. And that will enable you to find the right arguments to answer him.
But first of all, staying natural and staying yourself is the basis of any form of friendship. You will have to share several special moments with your friends. Playing comedy all this time will not be easy.
Being yourself will also help to target the friends with whom you feel most comfortable and who can support your character. After all, so that friendship lasts, you have to share some hobbies in common